Height of human arrogance absolute,
To defy the scyth is our goal in life.
Returning to God Eve's forbidden fruit,
Will seldom suffice to free us from strife.
We rush and run trying to beat the hand,
But it always finds way to beat us there.
This Time is lost in the hourglass sand,
It reigns supreme, taking without compare
Cease to desire what can't be obtained
Awake and admit, the clocks won't reverse
Cease wasting Time that cannot be regained
Accept that death is a gift not a curse
Refute the truth and forever regret
For Time stops not and in stone this is set
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5 comments:
not bad not bad. it definetly flows really well and hammers the theme home. pretty cool imagery created and good choice of words
Not bad? Hani, I think it deserves a bit more than that! It has a very stong theme, proper sonnet structure, and follows a traditional sonnet's rhyme scheme. I like how you used a lot of vivid imagery and allusions such as the "scyth", and "Eve's forbidden fruit". The way I interpreted your poem was that time will always pass, no matter how hard we struggle against it. We whould "accept what we get" and not defy time because it will not stop for us. We should stop fighting it and just admit to the fact that time will always be "supreme" so that we can move on with our lives. I also like the couplet at the end, it ties up the poem, summarizes everything, and is nicely worded. =]
I must agree with Sirena, Hani did not give your poem justice. Your use of diciton was amazing, and you are one of the few people who kept to the meter!! Very impressive. The metaphors used were also great, in general figurative language use, such as imagery, was excellent. Loved your writing style!! Very poetic, if that makes any sense.. :D
Your ending couplet was great, you effectively summarized and portrayed a strong message.
very solid theme hadrien! i love the reference to eve and the fruit of knowledge. I find that you very beautifully portrayed your themes of death and time. I love how you actually used the volta, you can definitely see a change from the 1st and 2nd stanza. Absolutely fab!
Even though the picture of Canada isn't related to your blog, I love the personal touch :) It's nice to see someone moving away from the theme of love to go for something a bit more daring: death, was it? The choice of words is striking. Same goes for the imagery. Your frustration is very apparent when you use this expressions: "We rush and run trying to beat the hand,
But it always finds way to beat us there." Somehow, you make the reader feel like he (well she in this case) can relate to what you're talking about in your poem. Finally, your struggle against time and nature is beautifully described. 2 thumbs up for this one!
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